I am finding out what parents have meant by saying they had
"one of THOSE days"
and
"we are entering the terrible two's".
And it is more difficult than I could have imagined.
There was a day recently that this boy was in time out
90% of the day.
By the end of the day I was beat down and frustrated.
But mainly I was feeling overwhelming guilt.
Guilt because I knew his testing that day
was for a reason.
Yes, we are entering the terrible twos,
but I have heard that three is worse!
I am guilty of losing my temper too quickly,
of not getting down to his level and finding a reason for his behavior,
of not giving him the attention he was used to.
Our changing relationship has been hard on me too.
I miss our alone time and the ability to always give him what he needs right at that moment.
But things are different now.
We have a new family member who needs our time, love and attention too.
It has been difficult finding the right balance in the way our growing family works.
When Trent was just a few weeks old, I had already started feeling guilty for wanting to quit breastfeeding.
My aunt laughed and told me "Oh, your mothers guilt has already set in. You will always feel guilty for something, no matter what you do." And she was so right.
After a full day of disciplining, I felt so guilty for not just letting him get his way.
Maybe I was too hard on him.
It would be so much easier just to let him have his way.
Why not have M&Ms for breakfast?
Why not go outside in 30 degree weather?
Why make him pick up his toys?
When Jake got home that evening, Trent's behavior did not change.
Jake had to continue with disciplining until bedtime finally came.
I was in tears by this time.
I shared my feelings of frustration with Jake, telling him the disciplining just wasn't worth it. I don't want to be a mean mom!
I was exhausted and besides, I wasn't letting Trent grow to be himself.
What if I "mess him up" with all the negativity I was throwing at him.
Jake reminded me that disciplining is for Trent's good, to teach him right from wrong, keep him safe and will not be a negative to him, but a positive. We could not give up!
But, I wasn't convinced. I was too tired to keep up the fight.
Still feeling down, the next day I checked my email.
I received an email from Family Life.
I wondered onto their website and was pleased to find information on parenting in a Christian way.
On this site I found a perfect description for my oldest~
a
"Strong-willed child".
This information was refreshing and supportive because I now
knew that I wasn't alone in raising my child.
We started the series Right From The Start.
By using a biblical approach,
these videos teach the importance of discipline in raising children.
It reminds us that our
"Blender came with more instructions than your child".
It is so easy to get overwhelmed with providing every day needs~ with feeding, clothing and sheltering,
that we lose track of why we need to provide discipline.
We forget that we as parents must not only think about today,
but also their future.
To bring them up to be responsible, selfless, Christian adults.
Children, especially ones with strong wills, will test us daily, but we must not let them win!
The daily battles will be worth the future results.
I can do this!
Due to one e-mail sent to me a few hours after feeling defeated,
I felt strength in my parenting (for now!)
Coincidence? I don't know, but I do know I felt much better!
Parenting is so much more complex than I could have imagined.
But I would change nothing.
My strong willed child is the spice of my life.
I wouldn't change a thing about him.
I just pray for the strength and knowledge to raise him to be the person he wants to be,
while providing safety, love and yes, discipline.
After ordering from family life, I found out that the book I wanted is back ordered.
Ha!
I am NOT alone!
Wish us luck!
Love, the rockinryans
